Serious Reflection

Most Sunday mornings the kids and I sit several pews behind a beautiful, large family at 8 am mass. Today was no different. I love watching them. There are 12 children with ages ranging from about 18 years-12 months along with a lovely husband and wife, who look to be about my age. It is not that I am amazed that all the children are so well-behaved, or that the older ones help so lovingly with the younger ones, or that the family often serves the church in various ministries. What amazes me most is the marriage relationship that the mom and dad must have to sustain such a wonderful blessing. Most days it makes me want to weep---with joy for them, sadness for me. I am not saying I wanted 12 children myself and 6 is probably plenty for me but what I am saying is I wanted a good, strong, Christian marriage and family. With the demise of my marriage, my dream of a strong family unit died. That is why I held on so many years---I did not want to give up the dream. Some things are not good for us and are just not meant to be. I still grieve the loss of my dream but I also live in hope for the future. I also pray for that. Sometimes life can turn out better than we ever imagined. It does mean finding the right person. Not a perfect person but the person who is right for us. It is what it is and I am living happily in the moment. : )