"Where I Am From: Sharon Irwin"
I am from the lush green summer grass
dotted with white clover
and bee stings on my feet.
I am from small-town America
where my true friends are few in number,
but great in duration.
I am from half a family who shows love,
where the Lily of the Valley is abundant
and smells so sweet.
I am from half a family who is undemonstrative,
where the rose bushes flourish,
but the thorns are most prolific.
I am from bad decisions of my own choosing.
I am from the strength born of my soul.
I vow not to be a victim of my past.
I stand and I am strong.
I forge a new path.
To honor those who sheltered the Lily,
I show great love
Always.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Serious Reflection
Most Sunday mornings the kids and I sit several pews behind a beautiful, large family at 8 am mass. Today was no different. I love watching them. There are 12 children with ages ranging from about 18 years-12 months along with a lovely husband and wife, who look to be about my age. It is not that I am amazed that all the children are so well-behaved, or that the older ones help so lovingly with the younger ones, or that the family often serves the church in various ministries. What amazes me most is the marriage relationship that the mom and dad must have to sustain such a wonderful blessing. Most days it makes me want to weep---with joy for them, sadness for me. I am not saying I wanted 12 children myself and 6 is probably plenty for me but what I am saying is I wanted a good, strong, Christian marriage and family. With the demise of my marriage, my dream of a strong family unit died. That is why I held on so many years---I did not want to give up the dream. Some things are not good for us and are just not meant to be. I still grieve the loss of my dream but I also live in hope for the future. I also pray for that. Sometimes life can turn out better than we ever imagined. It does mean finding the right person. Not a perfect person but the person who is right for us. It is what it is and I am living happily in the moment. : )
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I am so blessed!
Ok, don't fall over---two posts, two days in a row! I am definitely feeling inspired as of late. I have really hit my stride with school...I am almost finished and that long dark tunnel definitely has a ray of sunshine cheering me on. That leads me to all of you...my friends. I could never have gotten back on my feet as well without all of your love and support. I am very driven, I will admit. I could have done it but I do not think it would have been as well. Please know that each of you makes a difference in my life! You are loved!
Today Natalie and I were talking. Her birthday is February 10. She will be 18...oh, I mean 8! Some days it just feels like 18! Those of you with girls will understand...she has to brush her hair just right, pick out her own outfits, etc. My friends, I think I will be in trouble when she is 14! Maybe sooner! Anyway, we were talking about her impending birthday and she mentioned that she would like the 5 of us to do something as a family to celebrate. I am thinking much too simplistic here because I am thinking; cake & ice cream, you know, the usual! : ) So I asked my darling daughter what she had in mind. Her reply, "Well, we have not been to Disneyland for awhile!" Now here I must tell you that we have been to Disneyland just once, and she was just under 2 years old! She makes this statement like this is something we might normally do to celebrate a birthday...so commonplace! I smile and I say, "That would be nice but I am afraid that we all have school. How about Applebee's or something?" The beautiful thing about children is that in their minds, nothing is impossible. I am trying to be more child-like and it seems to be working.
In recent years I have had goals I wanted to see myself accomplish. I knew I could do it, with God's help, of course. First I knew I had to rid myself of the albatross around my neck. No offense to anyone but some things are just not meant to be. What I have discovered is that if you are in a relationship that does not allow you to be the person that God created you to be, then there is a problem. That little piece of knowledge helped me to affirm that what I was doing was right. I have learned to say things like, "I am going to go back to school and complete my degree," and I just do it. He works out all the details. I am no longer afraid of failing (well at least not as much as I was). The point is, that any more the things I set my mind to doing come to fruition because I have faith that they will. I have always had faith but maybe not like this. I really believe now that with God, I CAN accomplish anything!
Life is still not perfect. It never will be, but it is MY life! : ) It is what it is!
Today Natalie and I were talking. Her birthday is February 10. She will be 18...oh, I mean 8! Some days it just feels like 18! Those of you with girls will understand...she has to brush her hair just right, pick out her own outfits, etc. My friends, I think I will be in trouble when she is 14! Maybe sooner! Anyway, we were talking about her impending birthday and she mentioned that she would like the 5 of us to do something as a family to celebrate. I am thinking much too simplistic here because I am thinking; cake & ice cream, you know, the usual! : ) So I asked my darling daughter what she had in mind. Her reply, "Well, we have not been to Disneyland for awhile!" Now here I must tell you that we have been to Disneyland just once, and she was just under 2 years old! She makes this statement like this is something we might normally do to celebrate a birthday...so commonplace! I smile and I say, "That would be nice but I am afraid that we all have school. How about Applebee's or something?" The beautiful thing about children is that in their minds, nothing is impossible. I am trying to be more child-like and it seems to be working.
In recent years I have had goals I wanted to see myself accomplish. I knew I could do it, with God's help, of course. First I knew I had to rid myself of the albatross around my neck. No offense to anyone but some things are just not meant to be. What I have discovered is that if you are in a relationship that does not allow you to be the person that God created you to be, then there is a problem. That little piece of knowledge helped me to affirm that what I was doing was right. I have learned to say things like, "I am going to go back to school and complete my degree," and I just do it. He works out all the details. I am no longer afraid of failing (well at least not as much as I was). The point is, that any more the things I set my mind to doing come to fruition because I have faith that they will. I have always had faith but maybe not like this. I really believe now that with God, I CAN accomplish anything!
Life is still not perfect. It never will be, but it is MY life! : ) It is what it is!
Yet ANOTHER Snow Day
I LOVE MY CHILDREN! : ) Those of you that know me well, know this to be the truest of true statements. As I sit here struggling to keep concentration to work on my own school work, I loathe the beautiful fresh snow! : ) In the last two school weeks we have burned through 5 more "Calamity Days." Isn't that nice? They no longer call them "Snow Days" since Ohio Hurricane 2008". To me they are still SNOW DAYS!
I think back to a little over three years ago when I was still living in Arizona. The sun shined non-stop. I prayed for a cloudy day so that I would not have that big ball of fire glaring in my face and eyes! My kids' activities, church picnics, anything outdoors was very RARELY canceled and never due to rain! It was an adjustment for me to not get a reprieve in our busy life. Life in the Midwest is indeed, different. But this is home. While I miss my Arizona friends and even my Texas friends, the majority of my heart is here. I often say (during a snow storm usually) to my fellow Midwesterners and friends/family, "Remind me why I moved back here? 'Cause right now I am having great difficulty remembering!" Of course, the answer is crystal-snow-clear...that person is in my heart, in my life and one of the people I want to be close to.
I think back to a little over three years ago when I was still living in Arizona. The sun shined non-stop. I prayed for a cloudy day so that I would not have that big ball of fire glaring in my face and eyes! My kids' activities, church picnics, anything outdoors was very RARELY canceled and never due to rain! It was an adjustment for me to not get a reprieve in our busy life. Life in the Midwest is indeed, different. But this is home. While I miss my Arizona friends and even my Texas friends, the majority of my heart is here. I often say (during a snow storm usually) to my fellow Midwesterners and friends/family, "Remind me why I moved back here? 'Cause right now I am having great difficulty remembering!" Of course, the answer is crystal-snow-clear...that person is in my heart, in my life and one of the people I want to be close to.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Welcome to my first post! : )
I have named my blog, "It Is What It Is" because that is one of my favorite sayings. I think it particularly applies to life in that it never turns out the way we think it should and we must accept the things we cannot change for what they are. Often life turns out so much better than we could have ever imagined...even if we suffer along the way and we can only see the glory of it in hindsight. At least that is the way that I see it!
My prayer is that through this forum I will encourage you and maybe even inspire you.
Love and Blessings!
"You did what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better." ---Maya Angelou
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." ---Eleanor Roosevelt
Wow! It has not been this cold in a LONG time! When I awoke this morning at 7 am it was 13 below! School was canceled and the kids were thrilled! I still had errands to run and braced myself for the bitterness of it all! I keep wondering why I am so intolerant of the cold these days...is it because I lived in Arizona for six years and I am still trying to acclimate to the Midwest? I have been back in Ohio now for about 3 years, 4 months. Hmm...maybe it is just an "age" thing! Certainly not! I still feel 25! : ) I am off to bed as I have to work in the morning and bed seems to be the only place were I can get really warm!
My prayer is that through this forum I will encourage you and maybe even inspire you.
Love and Blessings!
"You did what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better." ---Maya Angelou
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." ---Eleanor Roosevelt
Wow! It has not been this cold in a LONG time! When I awoke this morning at 7 am it was 13 below! School was canceled and the kids were thrilled! I still had errands to run and braced myself for the bitterness of it all! I keep wondering why I am so intolerant of the cold these days...is it because I lived in Arizona for six years and I am still trying to acclimate to the Midwest? I have been back in Ohio now for about 3 years, 4 months. Hmm...maybe it is just an "age" thing! Certainly not! I still feel 25! : ) I am off to bed as I have to work in the morning and bed seems to be the only place were I can get really warm!
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